


B9

by mysonny



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Everyone has a backstory in my head but this focuses on Leah and Fatin, F/F, Fatin is soft for Leah, Mentions of Jeff, Rachel and Leah are best friends here because they'd be awesome best friends, Shoni is a thing but just side characters, also Dot and Fatin obviously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysonny/pseuds/mysonny
Summary: “She doesn’t seem very Juilliard-esque.”“Leah Rilke, don’t tell me you judge her by her clothes. Just because you dress exactly like the English major you are with all those oversized cardigans and mom jeans. Doesn’t mean everyone does.”Leah meets Fatin and learns to not judge a book by its cover.Or the College AU that has been in my head ever since they said Fatin was a shoo-in at Juilliard.
Relationships: Dot Campbell/Mateo, Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 94
Kudos: 386





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I hope everyone enjoys this story! I have it more or less mapped out, it'll be probably around 8 chapters or so long. I won't be able to write as much during the week (because work) but hopefully on the weekends. We'll see how it goes.
> 
> English isn't my first language, please excuse any mistakes I might make.  
> (I also know nothing about the colleges they go to but tried to research as much as I could. If I make any major mistakes, please let me know.)

„One large iced caramel macchiato for Paige!“ Leah calls out the last order of the usual afternoon rush. She loves working with both Rachel and Toni but it always means that they have the morning or afternoon rush upon them which honestly gets a bit much at times.

Leah huffs and lets herself fall on one of the stools behind the counter when the customer finally leaves the coffee shop. “As much as I like working here, afternoons during the summer seriously are the worst.” She exclaims.

“Preach!” Rachel sits down next to her. “And the summer’s only just starting.”

The end of the afternoon rush also means the end of Toni’s shift, hers only overlapping with the late shift for an hour. 

“Guys, we’re pretty much done here, right? Can I leave a little early today? Shelby and I are going on a date and it wouldn’t hurt if I got a couple more minutes at home.” Toni asks them, rocking her feet.

“You owe us something then!” Rachel looks over at Toni seriously who gives her an exasperated look. Rachel chuckles and raises her hands when Leah hits her shoulder. “I was only joking, go! The worst is done, my girl Leah and I can handle the rest.”

“Thanks! Oh, Rachel you’re still coming to Shelby’s party on Friday, right? Still on the ‘I need to loosen up and get my lost teenage years back’-shtick?”

She gets a wary grin and a nod from her friend, turning to Leah.

“Please come as well?” She walks into the backroom to get her bag.

“Noooo, guys, you know I don’t do parties.”

“It’s not even a real party, just a few people from her classes, like 20 including us. But I need you there, the more people I know the less I have to interact with all those drama kids.” Toni’s eyes widen at the prospect as she rummages through her bag before deciding she has everything she needs.

“Toni, your girlfriend is one of those ‘drama kids’.”

“That’s different.” Toni grumbles. “I’ll see both of you on Friday!” she shouts at them, already half out the door.

“I’m not coming!” Leah shouts after her, knowing Toni can’t hear her and won’t take no for an answer anyway.

With only a customer every now and then and a few people occupying the seats in the coffee shop, Leah and Rachel busy themselves with cleaning their supplies, refilling the machines, and generally cleaning their workspace as it had gotten a bit chaotic within the last hour or so.

As they often do they start people watching and making up stories about them. Watching people and talking about observations out loud with Rachel or Toni has helped Leah a lot with her own creativity and gives her inspiration for her creative writing classes.

Although neither Rachel nor Toni is creative in the philosophical almost hipstery sense she needs for her high-expecting NYU professors, just bouncing ideas and observations off of them, bantering with them about the things and people they see, sparks the creativity within Leah that she can never get when she just sits in the library or at the desk in her apartment. Sometimes she even comes into the shop when she isn’t working to just sit in the corner, watch and write.

They’ve also created a little game for themselves where they try to predict what a customer will order just from their appearance and general vibe. Over time, they’ve gotten pretty good at it with their experience from working and general stereotypical judging of people.

Leah especially loves these predictions when she’s working with Rachel and her twin sister Nora comes in and joins them for their shift. The two sisters just have such different ways to look at life and thus make observations that it always makes for an interesting dynamic and lots of ideas in her head.

“Girl! We have a customer and you’re working the frontline, I’m on drinks today and not doing your job as well.”

Leah shakes herself out of her daydream about her two best friends when Rachel tries to hit her with a dishtowel to get her moving. She turns to their customer and goes in full barista-mode.

“Welcome to Beans on 9th, what can I get for you today?”

The next customer that walks in is a middle-aged man, polo-shirt, cargo shorts, colorful socks with ice-cream cones printed on them.

“He’ll order something sweet, because he’s trying out new stuff, like those socks. Not too out of the box, but not just a black Americano or something.” Rachel whispers in her ear in passing.

He ends up ordering a Caramel Frappuccino and Rachel whoops when he's outside the door. “I’m on a run lately! Between him and that uptight business lady who ordered a hot chocolate yesterday, I know my shit!”

Leah just laughs at her friend’s antics, glad that Rachel seems more relaxed and happier than she has all year. She accredits Nora with this development, having helped her sister figure out where she wants to go with her college career after dropping out of the business major she was initially doing and taking a year off.

“Okay, let me do the next one though, can’t let you have all the fun without me.”

She spots a girl about their age outside. “That girl, if she comes inside?” Leah asks.

Rachel peaks around the counter to see what girl Leah is talking about.

“Alright. Let’s up the stakes though. If you get that one I’m going to that party Toni wants us to go to alone and we won’t bug you about it.”

Leah raises her eyebrows. “And what’s in it for you?

“If you don’t get her drink you come with us on Friday obviously.” Rachel shrugs.

Leah hums and concentrates on the girl who is now entering the shop, typing on her phone. Her being so busy with her phone gives Leah some extra time to look her over before making her prediction.

The girl is wearing a light pink shirt with “bye girl bye” printed on it and has a small leather backpack that’s more an accessory than useful because Leah is sure that nothing more than maybe a wallet fits in there.

“Ugh, she screams basic.” Leah whispers so only Rachel can hear. “Orders anything pumpkin spice during fall.”

Rachel looks at her unimpressed “You drink pumpkin spice in the fall?!”

Leah only waves her hand dismissively. “That’s beside the point. She’ll probably order a Caramel Macchiato with an extra pump of caramel of course. Or something like that, maybe iced though. Nothing simple definitely.” She tips her chin in a thinking manner. “Oh, and no dairy milk! Soy maybe, not sure on that though.”

Leah turns around as the girl is stepping up to the counter.

“Hi, welcome to Beans on 9th, how are you? What can I get for you today?” 

The girl finally looks up from her phone. “Hi, a large cold brew please.”

Leah stares at the girl in front of her for a second before putting the order in the cash register.

“That’ll be $3.80 please.”

Rachel pipes up from behind her “Hi Fatin, the usual cold brew?”

The girl – Fatin apparently – just smiles and nods at Rachel.

Leah’s mouth falls open as she watches Rachel preparing the drink. She turns to Rachel after their customer’s left.

“You played me! You know her, I can’t believe the betrayal.”

Rachel just grins at her “Chill, I don’t know her. But she comes in every week, not my fault that it’s never been during one of your shifts.”

“Ugh, and you made that bet because you knew I would never guess a black cold brew for her. I officially hate you.” She even stumps her foot a little for effect.

Rachel still only laughs at her. “No, you don’t.”

“Alright, no, I don’t.” Leah relents and rolls her eyes. “I still don’t want to go to that party though.”

“A bet is a bet.” Rachel shrugs.

“Common, Lee, please?” Her expression shifts and is more shy than excited now. “I know you don’t like parties that much and I don’t either but I promised Toni and I’d really like it if you were there, too. Just so that I’m not alone there?” The last part comes out so quietly that Leah almost can’t hear it with the music playing in the background.

Rachel doesn’t need to say it because they both know it’s mostly about her not feeling comfortable in settings like that. Not being familiar with those situations and the people that will be there puts her on edge. She needs some kind of control over the situation and if Leah can provide that for her just by coming as well, she would do that even without a lost bet. And they both know that as well.

It’s just not as heavy if she goes because she’s lost a bet and not because Rachel explicitly asked her to.

“Fine,” Leah rolls her eyes good-naturedly “you owe me though.”

Rachel only squeezes her shoulder in acknowledgment.

-

Fatin’s had it with the day. After her last written final, she’s just ready to get home and do nothing. She would like to do nothing for the rest of the week but today has to be enough to recharge before she goes right back to practice the next day.

On top of everythign, Dot texted her about dinner and how she’s supposed to pick up some things for that. She supposes it’s fair since Dot is cooking already but it irks her nevertheless.

She knows coffee is the only thing that’ll stop her from snapping at her best friend when she gets home. And because she really doesn’t want to snap at Dot who is also in the middle of finals and does not deserve her bitchiness on top of it she takes her normal after-class-route on a Tuesday during the semester and makes a stop at the best coffee shop close to their apartment.

She doesn’t really look up from her phone where she is mindlessly scrolling through Instagram until she reaches the counter.

Fatin expects to be greeted by either Shelby’s small and feisty girlfriend whose name she has forgotten and that she banters with when she has a good day. Or the calmer, more collected, but also kind of intense barista that’s never bullshitting her with unnecessary small talk which she appreciates and respects a lot.

Neither of the two baristas who usually work at the shop when she comes in are behind the cash register. Although she sees the taller one, who’s not Shelby’s girlfriend – was it Tori? – in the background.

She is startled by the bright blue eyes looking at her expectantly for her order. She has never seen the girl before. She would remember if she had. She would definitely remember those eyes.

She snaps out of it and orders her drink, it looks as if the girl’s face falls a little when she hears her order but she’s probably just imagining things.

After getting the taco shells that Dot had apparently forgotten to buy on her grocery run earlier in the week she finally gets home. Dot’s already there, lounging in the kitchen that also functions as their living room thanks to its size.

“How was the final?” she asks Fatin when she falls onto the couch across from her roommate.

Fatin only raises her middle finger without looking up from her laying position.

“That good then.”

“Nah, it was fine, just don’t want to talk about it.” Fatin appeases and turns on her side so that she can see Dot. “You wanna tell me about yours?”

“You know I’m always much better with the practical parts of my classes not so much with the theoretical exams, glad this one is only 25% of my grade. You would think a class called ‘Physical assessment’ would have a completely practical approach, wouldn’t you? I mean what good does it do to the patient when I know theoretically what their illness is but not how to treat it? It’s bullshit and doesn’t make much sense to me.”

Fatin lets Dot rant a little about the structure of her nursing program she is attending in Brooklyn. She knows Dot crushed the exam no matter what she says because she cares so much about what she is doing and is honestly really great at it.

“Hey, you know the baristas at B9 right? Like all of them?” she interrupts her own line of thought when Dot is already focusing on the TV again.

“Well, I mostly know Toni through Shelby. But I've also hung out with Toni’s two friends who work there once or twice and vaguely know two of the guys.” Dot answers without taking her eyes off the TV.

“Right! Toni is her name. I was wondering about that.” Fatin mumbles more to herself than to Dot.

“Toni wasn’t there today, I usually talk to her for a bit, she’s cool. There was the other girl that’s usually there, you know the intense one. And another girl, that I didn’t know, brown hair, tall, white.” She looks at the TV, trying to concentrate on whatever new show Dot is watching, while waiting for her answer.

Dot perks up a little at Fatin’s question. “I guess you mean Leah. The one you call intense is Rachel by the way. Both good friends with Toni.”

Dot looks expectantly at Fatin “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason, just didn’t know her.” Fatin shrugs, not taking her eyes off the TV. She feels Dot studying her and tries hard to seem unfazed by their conversation.

“You can’t fuck her.” Dot points in her direction.

“Who said anything about fucking her?” Fatin still doesn’t take her eyes off the TV, hoping that Dot doesn’t see the blush covering her face.

“I know you and you sleep with people you find attractive. She’s not the kind of person one hooks up with. From what I know about her, she deserves more. Sorry, dude.”


	2. Chapter 2

Leah doesn’t like parties. Never has and probably never will. She just doesn’t get the appeal of big parties with sweaty bodies pressing against her, music so loud no one can even hear their own voice, and strangers hooking up. Smaller get-togethers are okay in her eyes. Where she could have a conversation if she wanted to because it’s not too loud and she also knows most people. Those just make her more comfortable.

Shelby’s party falls somewhere in the middle for her. There aren’t too many people there – but probably not only 20 as Toni had promised them – and she knows at last a handful. Enough to not feel awkward for most of the evening.

Leah arrives with Rachel, having gone over to her place (her parents’ house actually) before the party. She knows Rachel feels just as out of place as she does. She once told her that she’s never been to parties except for the occasional smaller birthday party. Devoting all of your adolescent years to diving will do that to a person. As much as it hurt Rachel, Leah is very glad that Rachel isn’t on a diving team anymore. And that they only met after that chapter of Rachel’s life had been closed for quite a while. She isn’t sure they would’ve been friends otherwise, probably not.

“Dang, there are more people here than I expected!” Rachel looks around from their spot in the hallway.

“I mean, are you surprised? Of course, Toni would downplay this so we would come. Speaking of the devil… hey, guys!” Leah greets both Toni and the actual host, Shelby.

“Hey, guys, so nice of you to come!” Shelby smiles warmly at them and startles them both as she pulls them into hugs. “Drinks are in the kitchen, most people are in the living room, the bedrooms are closed areas. And that’s all you really need to know.”

Most people at the party are Shelby’s friends from Juilliard. And since she’s a theatre major, most people are drama kids, as Toni likes to call them.

Leah and Rachel find a couple of seats somewhere in the corner close to the open window of the fire escape and wave Toni’s roommate and best friend Martha over. Martha seems quite happy to see them and be able to leave the conversation she’s having with one of Shelby’s roommates.

“Thanks guys, so good to see you! She was going on about the problems she has with learning her lines for some play she doesn’t like. Something I clearly don’t know anything about.” Martha shrugs.

“Very relatable stuff.” Rachel agrees.

The three of them fall into easy conversation and catch up a little. Martha hadn’t come into the coffee shop for a while since her and Toni’s dorm is in Greenwich and not close by and she, too, had to study for her finals. Toni joins them after a while as well, wanting to spend some time with her friends that are only at this party because she asked them to be.

In the middle of Martha’s story about a horrible date she went on a few weeks ago, Leah hits Toni’s arm repeatedly.

“Ow, Leah, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Toni grumbles.

“What is she doing here?” She points to the hallway. “She’s the reason I lost that stupid bet Rachel set up.”

“Oooh, you mean Fatin? She’s cool. She goes to Juilliard with Shelby.” She explains. “Well, in another program though, so not like with her but you know... She’s roommates with Dot.”

“She doesn’t seem very Juilliard-esque.” Leah furrows her brows.

“Leah Rilke, don’t tell me you judge her by her clothes. Just because you dress exactly like the English major you are with all those oversized cardigans and mom jeans.” Rachel intervenes. “Doesn’t mean everyone does.”

“Yeah, judgy much?” Toni is quick to agree with Rachel.

“No! I mean… yeah, kind of?” She shrugs. “I’m sorry! She just sticks out compared to the others.”

“And shouldn’t you as a writer appreciate that?” As always, Rachel knows exactly how to push her buttons. “Like as inspiration, pushing the envelope and shit.”

It’s Leah’s turn to grumble now. “Yeah, I guess. She just seems so… I don’t know, deceiving?”

“OH! You’re mad at her for the bet you lost. Girl, let it go. Not her fault that you let yourself be tricked by me.”

Leah’s got to give it to the girl – Fatin apparently – she knows how to make an entrance. She watches her, going around the room, interacting with some of the other people. She carries herself with a lot of self-confidence and creates an aura of aloofness. She realizes that she does find her interesting. Just the sheer contrast of the image her outfit - today it's a leopard-print jacket and some short shorts - gives her and being a student at Juilliard. Leah wonders what Fatin is majoring in, maybe something with dance. She could see that for the girl. Though her posture is a little bad for a dancer.

The girls hollering about something brings her attention back to the conversation.

“What? Don’t you think he’s– you know? Hot?” Martha blushes saying that and lowers her voice slightly for the last part.

“Oh, he is. No doubt about that. Go get him!” Toni cheers for her best friend and pushes her up from her seat.

“Sorry, who are we talking about?” Leah interrupts.

“That guy over there.” Rachel points to a tall, dark haired guy, talking to Shelby’s roommate from earlier. “His name is Marcus apparently.”

Leah only raises both her eyebrows but grins in amusement as they all watch Martha making her way over to him.

“Hey, does anyone else want something more to drink?” She gets up and collects Rachel’s cup from her. On her way to the kitchen she stops and chats with Dot for a bit, who she knows because she's a very frequent customer at B9 and a friend of Shelby of course. She invites her to sit with them in their little corner.

When she gets to the kitchen, there’s a guy helping himself to a drink as well. He turns around and looks her up and down clearly checking her out. She squirms under his gaze.

“Hi there, pretty lady.” If it wasn’t already clear that he’s drunk by his mannerisms it becomes very clear when he speaks.

Leah only cringes and smiles politely at him.

“Are you here for a drink as well?”

Leah holds up the two cups in her hands “Yeah… would you mind stepping aside so that I can get them?” she gestures to the open bottles behind him.

“And what do I get out of that?” he cockily asks her, side-stepping a little to fully block her way to the drinks. “I can think of a few things you could pay me with.” He winks at her in a way she’s sure he thinks I suggestive. It isn’t.

Leah almost turns on the spot. A few drinks clearly aren’t worth it and she definitely doesn’t want to make a scene.

“Yo, dick! Get out of her way!” someone says from behind her. Fatin pushes Leah out of the way a little and is half in front of her within a second.

The guy clearly still hasn’t gotten the message. “Fatinnn, you wanna join?” He reaches out to her, only for Fatin to slap his hand away from her face before he has the chance to touch her.

“Don’t touch me.”

She points to Leah “Or her. Come on, move it, Austin.”

“Aww, Fatin. What changed? I remember you liked being touched by me a few weeks ago.” He grins at her and winks again, hoping for some sort of reaction from Fatin. She doesn’t give him the satisfaction, only crosses her arms and stares him down with one raised eyebrow.

“Fine, be like this then.” He huffs and – to Leah’s relief – finally leaves the kitchen.

Leah looks after him, a little stunned by the whole exchange. She isn’t used to guys coming onto her so strongly. And she definitely isn’t used to girls coming to her rescue like that.

“You okay?” Fatin places a tentative hand on Leah’s upper arm. Leah flinches at the contact, not having expected it. She regrets her jumpiness immediately when Fatin removes her hand quickly, obviously trying not to cross any boundaries.

“Yeah, I’m– thanks. Thanks for dealing with him. I probably would’ve just left without new drinks.” She laughs awkwardly and looks at her feet. The whole situation made her very uncomfortable, even though it was solved easily in the end.

“No, problem. He’s a dick anyways.” She shrugs and laughs a little. “Gosh, I can’t believe I fucked him!”

Leah doesn’t know what to say to that other than “Me neither.” Which makes Fatin laugh even harder.

“Well, I’m going to get the drinks I came for now.” Leah steps around Fatin and busies herself with the bottles. She feels Fatin lingering behind her but can’t think of anything else to say to the other girl.

When she’s finished and ready to go back to the living room, Fatin looks up from her phone and follows her out of the kitchen. Leah realizes that she waited for her instead of leaving her alone. Fatin doesn’t follow her all the way through the living room back to their corner but stops halfway through to talk to a group of people, including Martha and Marcus.

“What took you so long?” Toni asks when she gets back. “I mean we saw you talking to Dot and sending her over here but 10 minutes to get two drinks?”

“Don’t tell me you took my cup with you to the bathroom or something. Leah, you didn’t, right?” Rachel sounds actually horrified at the thought and inspects the cup that Leah pressed back into her hands.

“Don’t worry, Rae, I didn’t go to the bathroom. Had a little run-in with some guy who didn’t want to let me through to the drinks.”

“What are we? Three?” Rachel scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Pretty sure a three-year-old wouldn’t have made suggestive remarks for what he should get if he lets me through.”

“He did what?” Toni is on the edge of her seat immediately. “Who was it?”

“Toni, don’t worry about it.” Leah places a hand on Toni’s knee, trying to calm her hot-headed friend down. She didn’t want to make a scene ten minutes ago and she certainly doesn’t want Toni to make a scene on her behalf now. Especially at Shelby’s party.

“No, seriously Leah. Who was it? That shit doesn’t fly with me. Who does he think he is? And what is he doing at my girlfriend’s party?” Toni lets her eyes wander over the other party guests. Trying to spot anyone who looks remotely suspicious to her.

“Toni, seriously, calm down. It’s not a big deal. And Fatin already handled him anyway.” That does the trick, Leah can watch the expression shift in Toni’s face from annoyed to impressed and intrigued.

“Fatin handled him?” Dot pipes up suddenly.

“Uh, yeah.” Leah ducks her head. She doesn’t like all the attention her incident is getting and wishes she just told Rachel that she went to the bathroom with their drinks.

“She told him off. She knew him, I think they f– slept together before?”

“Likely.” Toni laughs and high-fives Dot.

“Want to fill us in here?” Rachel gestures to herself and Leah.

“Well. She likes sex. So, she usually fucks someone after a party like this on the weekends.” Dot shrugs nonchalantly. “I mean I would know, I’m her roommate.”

“Oh yeah, Toni mentioned that. How did you two meet?”

“Shelby hooked us up actually. I know her from home and Fatin posted in one of their bougey-ass groups chats that she was looking for a roommate. And I was, too, so Shelby introduced us and I moved in two days later. It actually works out pretty well, the apartment is about halfway between Juilliard and my school in Brooklyn.”

Conversation keeps floating between them for way longer than Leah ever could've guessed. She's genuinely having a good time with her friends and doesn't know anymore why she was so wary about coming. Martha rejoins them a while later and even Shelby gets the chance to spend some time with them. The party dies down a little after midnight, the people who drank way more than them and danced a lot are obviously tired and start going home. Against everything Leah had expected from the party they end up being some of the last people there, just talking amongst themselves. Martha announces that she’s going home with Marcus which earns her some light teasing from the group and lots of whistling from Toni.

Leah had hoped that she would have Dot to leave with since they live close to each other and everyone else lives in very different directions. But Dot quickly shuts her hopes down.

“Sorry, dude, I’m going to my boyfriend’s for the night.” Dot shrugs.

“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, Dot!” Leah exclaims, genuinely happy for her.

Dot blushes which isn’t something Leah is used to from the other girl. “Yeah, it’s still somewhat new, his name is Mateo.”

“Leah, you’re searching for a buddy for your way home, aren’t ya? I think Fatin’s going home today, you two can totally go together.” Shelby butts in and gestures behind her to the fire escape where Fatin is smoking with some guy.

Leah doesn’t know what to do with that idea but before she can make her mind up about it, Shelby is already out on the fire escape, talking to Fatin, presumably asking her.

Both Shelby and Fatin join them inside soon after and everyone still left at the party that isn’t staying there for the night starts getting ready to leave.

“Fatin, I told you not to fuck her. What's with first rescuing her from Austin and now going home together?” Leah hears Dot’s agitated voice from around the corner while she’s waiting for Rachel to be done in the bathroom.

“Chill Dorothy. That’s none of your fucking business anyway. Since when do you care who I fuck?” Fatin’s voice sounds calmer than Leah expects. She hears her sigh. “I don’t plan to. I didn’t come up with this plan for us to go home together. So get off my dick about it and ask Shelby.”

They turn around the corner and nearly run into Leah.

Dot looks decently sheepish as it’s clear to all three of them that Leah heard their conversation. Fatin doesn’t seem fazed by the prospect.

“You coming?” She turns to Leah.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both POVs in this one!

The few people still left at the party leave the apartment together, most of them walking the few minutes from Shelby’s apartment to the Lincoln Center subway station asa group before splitting up.

Leah walks with Rachel, watching Fatin and Dot in front of them now quietly talking to each other. She wonders if they are still talking about her or if they’ve moved on to more interesting topics.

She doesn’t even understand why Dot would make that assumption that lead to their disagreement in the first place. Other than their encounter in the kitchen, Leah still hasn’t had just one normal conversation with Fatin. They hadn’t even introduced themselves to each other properly. But maybe that’s how Fatin usually operates with her weekend hook-ups: Talk to them for five minutes and then go home with them. Leah wouldn’t know how these things work, she hadn’t had anything close to a relationship or even a hook-up since her phenomenally failed and short-lived relationship with Jeff. It had taken her years to fully recover from that and unpack the depths of it.

They part from the others and Leah, like always, makes Rachel promise her to text her when she gets home. As if Rachel hasn’t been living in the city all her life and definitely knows her way around. And never had anything happen to her on her way home. Leah still worries.

When they’re standing on the platform waiting for their train, that’s not supposed be there for another 8 minutes, Leah starts watching Fatin again. How self-confident she stands there with her open jacket and just a crop top beneath it. Chin slightly raised to perfect the confidence she exudes, hands burrowed in her pockets.

This Fatin she sees right there fits with the girl who easily got that guy off her back just a few hours ago. But she also is right in line with the girl who came into B9 a couple of days ago when Leah thought she was nothing more than a basic bitch.

Rachel’s words, not hers.

“So– “

“I’m sorry– “

They start speaking at the same time.

“Can I go first?” Fatin asks to which Leah just nods.

“I’m sorry if Dot’s and my conversation from earlier made you feel uncomfortable. We don’t have a filter.”

“Clearly.” She deadpans.

Fatin looks at her warily, obviously not sure how to take her answer. Leah smirks at her and sees Fatin visibly relaxing.

“It’s okay, I won’t take it personally.” Leah jokes.

Fatin just shakes her head. “So, what did you want to say?”

“Nothing important really.” Leah looks down. “I was just trying to start a conversation, the silence was a little unnerving to me.”

Fatin nods and looks at Leah expectantly. “Heads up, I fucking hate small talk though. It’s so unnecessary.”

“Yeah, no, totally.” Leah is quick to agree. There goes her hope of Fatin leading a nice and easy conversation of small talk.

“Can I still– okay, this might sound like small talk but I was genuinely wondering earlier. What are you studying at Juilliard? Dot said you weren’t a theatre major like Shelby.”

Fatin laughs at her justifying her question.

“Oh no, I could never. Have you seen some of those pretentious dicks at that party? And I also don’t have any acting talent but that’s just semantics.” She waves it off.

“I go there for playing Cello.”

Leah gapes at her.

“I know, right? Didn’t expect that?”

“No, I mean…” Leah splutters.

“It’s alright, I don’t necessarily look like the typical ‘classical instrument student’ they put in all the brochures.”

They enter their train that has finally arrived.

“Imagine how many new and cool students it would bring them though if they had some sense and put me in the brochures and on the website.”

“So many.”

“Right?” Fatin laughs and Leah can’t help but notice that she lights up when talking about her studies. For as much shit as Fatin is talking about her school, she must really love it there, too.

She asks Fatin a bit more about her decision to go into her major. And Fatin is surprisingly – or unsurprisingly, Leah needs to stop being surprised by everything the other girl does – open about it. Tells her all about how her parents discovered her natural talent for the Cello. How it drove her crazy as a teenager and how she resented playing Cello for a good while.

But there had been some turnaround that Fatin doesn’t go too deep into which makes Leah curious, especially because Fatin’s eyes and face go dark for just a split second. But of course she doesn’t ask about it, they still don’t really know each other. And definitely not well enough to ask deep cutting follow-up questions.

But apparently, at that point Fatin started to play more contemporary pieces instead of the classics that plagued her teenage years. And rediscovered her love for the Cello and music in general through that.

Leah is fascinated by how quickly Fatin’s demeanor changes multiple times while talking. She clearly loves playing Cello and the creativity it provides her. But the start of her relationship with her instrument seems a little more complicated. And Leah certainly understands the problem of parents involving themselves too much without knowing how to.

She hears her stop, Union Square, being announced. But Fatin is in the middle of her story and Leah doesn’t want to interrupt. And she doesn’t really want to stop hearing Fatin talk about Cello and her classes yet. She figures it doesn’t hurt to just get off at the next station where Fatin has to get off anyways if she still remembers correctly where Dot’s apartment is.

They walk the short distance to Dot and Fatin’s apartment together, Leah still very content with asking questions here and there and letting Fatin talk most of the time.

Fatin seems a bit startled when they arrive in front of her building.

“Well, that was quicker than I thought. So, I guess you live around here as well?”

“Yeah, I live just around the corner.” Leah shrugs.

She doesn’t. At all. It’s a mile from Fatin’s apartment to her dorm building at Union square which will probably take her almost 20 minutes. But she doesn’t want to share that and make Fatin feel bad.

“Great... Get home safe then.” Fatin smiles at her and waves a little as she enters the building.

-

“Hi, welcome to Beans on– oh! It’s you, hey!” Leah smiles warmly at Fatin.

“So, you do have a customers' voice!” Fatin laughs at the startled barista in front of her.

Leah asks puzzled. “A what now?” 

“A customers’ voice. Like your voice dropped considerably when you recognized me. Down from that fake-ass overly friendly high-pitched thing you had going on before.”

“Um, okay?” Leah looks at her as if she is questioning Fatin’s sanity. Or maybe her own. “I feel like I need to apologize now but I don’t know for what?”

“Nah, that’s okay. It’s just something I’ve noticed with people in retail and stuff. I was wondering about it.”

“Okayyyy…” Leah still looks at her in a way that makes Fatin sure that she’s questioning her sanity.

“So, do you want a cold brew or something different?”

“Wow, what a customer service, you remember my order!” She cheers.

“Well, it lost me a bet, so.”

Fatin lets Leah tell her all about the bet that Rachel tricked her with. She is the only customer in the shop right now so they have some time. Seeing that it’s a rainy Saturday around noon, she isn’t surprised by that.

She takes her cold brew to stay instead of her original plan to just get it to go and grabs a table close to the counter so they can chat while Leah works.

She watches Leah handle a few customers and wonders if it’s weird that she came into the shop - though she didn't know before that Leah wouldbe working - and is staying now when they just met yesterday and didn’t actually know each other all that well.

Yet.

She nods to herself.

“How come I’ve never seen you here before the other day but Rachel clearly knew your order?” Leah interrupts her thoughts.

“I don’t know, I’ve been here every Tuesday after class this semester. But it’s always been Rachel and Toni working until this week.”

“Oh yeah, I had classes on Tuesdays, that’s why. We changed some shifts around for the summer, some people are going home and whatnot.” Leah explains.

“Are you going home?”

“Just for like two weeks. My parents want to see me. But my life is here, you know? I deliberately chose a school on the other end of the country to not have to be around so often.” She furrows her eyebrows. “That sounds horrible when I say it out loud. They’re just so...” Leah trails off and looks at her. “I don’t know where I am going with that sentence.”

“No, no, I get it. I almost never go home either. But my parents are on vacation or working a lot anyway so it’s not like they’d be there.” She sighs. “I do miss my brothers though.”

And just like on their way home, Leah understands to ask just the right questions to get Fatin talking. Fatin wonders if Leah is actually interested in her family and if she was interested in her somewhat complicated relationship with playing Cello. It certainly seems so and it makes her smile.

She has ignored her phone the whole time she's been in the shop but it starts to ping so successively in an almost aggressive way now that she has to look at the texts she is getting.

“Oh shit! I’m late to practice.” She downs the rest of her coffee and brings the mug over to the counter.

“Oh no, I didn’t want to hold you up with my questions. I’m sorry I made you late.” Leah looks at her with big, apologetic eyes.

“You didn’t, I stayed because I wanted to. Don’t worry. They can wait for a bit.”

“Why are you still practicing on Saturdays anyway? Isn’t your semester over as well?”

“We have this summer festival thing next weekend, Juilliard does that every year, and I’m performing there.” She explains while searching for her metrocard in her bag.

“I think Shelby has some sort of improv-performance there as well. I am planning on going with Toni and our other friend Nora.” A smile spreads on her face. “Hey, when’s your performance, maybe I can come and watch it?”

“Um, it’s at 4.30ish. You don’t have to feel like you have to come just because I told you about it, you know?” Fatin feels shy all of a sudden. She hates it, she’s not used to it.

“Shut up, I want to come!” Leah smiles at her. “And now: go! You’re already late.”

Fatin almost sprints out of the shop, waving at the other girl.

Leah is right, she is phenomenally late for practice. Even more than she usually is.

And maybe she should feel bad about it because they have just one more week and need every second of practice they can get. But talking to Leah had just felt… nice. When she got home last night she asked herself why the hell she had told Leah so much about her journey with Cello, almost touching on her family as well. And then again today! This time even actually talking about her family for a bit.

But conversation with Leah just feels easy to her.

She chooses not to think about that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Leah's POV this time, next chapter will be Fatin's

Leah likes her life during the summer. She works more shifts at B9 than during the semester of course but still has a decent amount of free time. She gets to see her friends more often than during the semester. At least when they aren’t out of town.

This especially regards Toni who between her classes – that she calls insufferable, not happy with her major choice – working, a girlfriend, and playing basketball for her scholarship usually doesn’t have all that much free time on her hands. She’s looking forward to seeing her more often outside of work now.

They’re only a week out of school and it’s already the second weekend in a row that she has plans with Toni. Granted both times not with her alone but better than nothing.

Leah made the plan with Toni and Rachel’s twin sister Nora to go to Shelby’s improv-performance a long time ago. Toni had asked Leah about going a few months back already, unsure on how to fit in at the summer-festival at Juilliard. They had asked Nora to tag along as well, knowing that she’s got some friends at Juilliard and would want to go but would never invite herself.

Leah has lunch with Nora before they meet up with Toni. She always enjoys her one-on-one time with Nora because that’s how her time in New York started a two years ago. They met as freshmen in an intro communications class, which Leah needed because she was still deciding on a major back then but Nora had already declared Communicative Sciences and Disorders as her major which impressed Leah a lot. They hit it off immediately. Nora became Leah’s first friend in the city, they spent a lot of time discussing the latest books they’d read or obsessing over their classwork for that communications class they both loved. Nora then hooked her up with the job at the coffee shop her sister was already working at and introduced them to each other, not knowing how well the two of them would get along as well.

Leah probably hangs out with both of them together just as often as she hangs out with them alone but lately with finals she hadn’t seen Nora as often as she would’ve liked.

After lunch they meet up with Toni right at Lincoln Center Plaza where some booths with smaller things are. Shelby’s imrpov-performance will also happen outside on the stairs from the plaza to 65th street, her group fully embracing the improvisation part of it by making the surroundings quite unpredictable but also using what is at hand and having an elevated stage of sorts with the stairs.

“I’m going to look around a bit and search for a timetable or something, I want to know what else is happening and where after we watched Shelby, alright?” Leah tells the other two after they’ve hung out and talked a bit by the spot they’ve found with a good view in front of the stairs.

“Sure, I’m gonna stay here and wait for Marty and make sure no one’s getting our spot, alright?”

“The performance isn’t starting for another half hour, I’m sure no one’s taking out spot. But sure, you do that.” Leah raises her eyebrows at Toni before turning to Nora. “Do you want to stay here or come with me and wander around a little bit?”

“I’ll come with you.” Nora smiles.

They walk around, look at a few booths where the different programs are introducing themselves, and actually find a timetable for Leah to take with her. As she anticipated, most of the performances – especially with instruments – are happening inside. She’ll only have a bit more than half an hour after Shelby’s performance is supposed to be over so she hopes she’ll find the right room on time.

They make it back to Toni and now Martha right before the performance starts which earns Leah a slightly annoyed look from Toni to which she just smiles and shrugs. By now a decent crowd has assembled at the stairs, waiting for the group to start.

Leah had seen Shelby perform in a play before but she’s very impressed by her in their show. Shelby told her once that acting started as a hobby and mostly an outlet for her but she sees how it’s so much more than that to all the actors on “stage”, she’s impressed by just how good and talented they all are.

They wait for Shelby after the group is done, congratulating her on her great performance. Some of Shelby’s friends join them and soon they are one big group, spilt into multiple smaller conversations.

Leah feels a bit out of place and is trying to come up with an excuse to leave and go see Fatin’s performance. She doesn’t really know why she doesn’t want her friends there with her but she feels like she wants to experience the music alone, doesn’t want to share it with anyone.

“Hey, um, I’m gonna go. I want to see some of my friends, okay?” Nora tells Leah.

“For sure, I’m hanging out with Rachel tonight, will you be home as well?”

“Yeah, but not for dinner, probably a bit later.” Nora smiles at her and waves to Toni and Shelby before leaving.

Leah stands there, on the outsides of a group she doesn’t belong to or feel comfortable with and looks at Toni for a bit who seems to know all of Shelby’s friends and is far more comfortable with them than she always lets on when she talks about the “drama kids”.

She catches Toni’s eyes, the girl raising her eyebrows at her. Leah makes a little motion with her head, signalizing Toni that she’s leaving. Toni only smiles at her and nods, mouthing “Text me later” to Leah.

Finding the right room for the cello recital turns out to be not as bad as she had anticipated. She gets to the small concert room with time to spare and finds a seat somewhere in the middle. She spots Fatin and what she assumes are the other musicians prepping the stage. She’s not sure if Fatin sees her but she’s fine with flying under the radar for now.

Leah likes the more contemporary take on classic instruments that the students are showcasing. She’s read in the pamphlet that the class was about duets and so far, all those cellists taking on contemporary pieces and doing their own interpretation of them really impresses her. She doesn’t know when it’ll be Fatin’s turn but she enjoys everyone else’s performance up until then.

Leah edges to the front of her seat when she sees Fatin and her duet-partner entering the stage, both with what look like electric-cellos to Leah. They also have someone on the drums with them. Fatin’s dressed in a white button-down shirt which is the plainest thing Leah has seen Fatin wear in the short time of knowing her. But then again, this is Juilliard. The guy with her wears a similar shirt but in black. Leah notices that Fatin’s cello is black and his is white. She likes the thought they put in the duality of their outfits and instruments.

While most of the other students had chosen to play slower pop songs, ballads really, this song starts very fast and almost harsh sounding. Leah recognizes the song as AC/DC after a few seconds of Fatin playing and is automatically even more intrigued, wondering how hard rock and cellos fit together.

What she sees amazes her. Fatin and her partner go back and forth with their playing, in perfect choreography. They put a lot of physical effort in the performance as well, not just sitting in their seats but doing what could only be called rocking out. At points the performance almost seems like a duel before effortlessly going back to harmonizing and bringing the song together. In Leah’s opinion, they wouldn’t need the drummer with them, both cellos absolutely enough, but she can see and appreciate what he brings to the performance as well.

She loves how in her element Fatin looks. If Shelby had found her talent in acting, Fatin had definitely found hers in playing the cello. Talent for anything intrigues Leah because there’s always more to it, a lot of determination, hard work, hours of practice, tears, joy.

The performance excites the rest of the audience as well, Leah looks around and sees everyone at least nodding their head or rocking their feet to the beat. When they finish the song, Fatin and her partner stand up to the cheers of the audience.

Fatin looks so free in that moment, Leah almost can’t take it.

After the recital is over she waits for a bit to see if Fatin will come from backstage so she can say hi. She sees some of the other performers exiting the backroom and leaving but Fatin isn’t with them. Even Fatin’s duet partner passes her. After a while, Leah decides to let it be and leave as well, seeing as she’ll probably be late to Rachel’s now.

Every other weekend Rachel and Leah order dinner and watch the last two episodes of Hell’s Kitchen together. They don’t really remember how this tradition started but they both wouldn’t miss it for the world. Leah likes any kind of cooking show because she likes to cook and she secretly thinks that Rachel just enjoys it because it’s so competitive. Nora tried watching it with them but couldn’t handle the pressure and insults.

So, it became their thing which Leah likes a lot. She’s good at listening to people – and bad at opening up herself – and these evenings are usually the occasions when she gets Rachel talking.

She makes it to Rachel’s parents’ house in Hunter’s Point a little later than planned but not so late as to raise questions. Which she doesn’t know how to answer at the moment because how does she explain that she ditched Toni and Shelby for someone who is basically a stranger and then didn’t even actually see them?

They make it almost all the way through the first episode before Leah’s phone buzzes with a couple of new texts.

**Unknown number:** Thanks for coming to the recital today, you really didn’t have to

 **Unknown number:** I got your no. from Shelby btw

 **Unknown number:** Hope that’s okay

Leah smiles at the string of texts, she would’ve texted the other girl after her performance but realized that she didn’t have her number. So this works very well for her.

**Leah:** It was awesome, really great performance. I loved it!

 **Leah:** And it’s fine, I was going to do the same

 **Fatin:** So it wasn’t too stalkerish, great!

Leah laughs out loud at the text this time which takes Rachel’s attention away from the TV and to her.

“What’s so funny? He’s not even insulting anyone right now?”

“No, just text. I’m sorry, I’m watching!” Leah explains sheepishly.

Her attention gets pulled from the show once again when her phone buzzes twice within a minute. Leah tries to ignore it but she’s too curious not to look.

**Fatin:** What are you doing now?

 **Fatin:** Still not meant creepily or stalkerish btw

 **Leah:** Watching Hell’s Kitchen with Rachel

 **Leah:** You?

 **Fatin:** Don’t know yet

 **Fatin:** Maybe going out but I’m exhausted from this week

 **Fatin:** So probably nothing

Leah feels Rachel glancing at her and looks over, putting her phone away.

“What?”

“Who are you texting?” Rachel nudges her shoulder with her own. “You’re all smiley and shit.”

“Just Fatin, she got my number from Shelby apparently.” She shrugs.

“Fatin? You mean the ‘not very Juilliard-esque’ friend of Dot and Shelby?”

Leah rolls her eyes. “Shut up. I’m taking your advice and not judge a book by its cover. I went to her Cello recital today. Like after watching Shelby’s improv-bit with Nora and Toni. That was pretty cool, they did AC/DC and not just some classical stuff. I didn’t know cello could be that exciting!”

Rachel’s eyebrows have risen so much that Leah would worry that Rachel is hurting herself if the look wasn’t currently directed at her. “Leah, you’re rambling. I get it, she’s cool. Jeez, one could think you have a crush or something.”

“Shut up! I do not.” But she already knows that the blush on her face is a dead giveaway for Rachel who is able to read her like an open book most of the time.

And just as Leah expected, recognition flashes through Rachel’s eyes. “Oh! I was just teasing and joking around but this is legit then!”

Leah ducks her head, not really wanting to talk about it. She fiddles nervously with the hem of her shirt. “Look, can’t we just watch Gordon Ramsey yelling at incompetent people? I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not? It’s kinda cute.” Rachel smiles at her. Leah still doesn’t look at Rachel but stares ahead at the TV. Rachel sighs and proceeds to pause their show.

“Lee, what’s up? It’s not like you didn’t know you were bi or something. Or never had a crush before. I’m a little lost about this existential crisis you’re having?”

Leah looks up and sees Rachel now sitting cross-legged next to her, body turned completely away from the TV.

“It feels different.” Rachel tilts her head and only stares at her questioningly, giving her time to collect her thoughts. “The few crushes I had in the last couple of years were mostly innocent little things. This feels different. Like I purposely missed my stop last week and walked her home because I wanted to hear more of what she had to say. But do you remember where Dot lives? On 6th street, Rae. I walked a mile home that night, just to listen to her a little longer. Who does that?”

Rachel smiles softly at her confession.

“This all reminds me so much of how I was when it started with him, with… Jeff. I don’t want to get obsessed with the idea of someone again. And I don’t want to lose myself again.”

“Oh Lee.” Rachel scoots over to hug Leah. And Leah appreciates her best friend a lot in that moment. Because Rachel hates hugs but knows she really needs one right now.

“You are a different person than you were back then.” Rachel tentatively begins to talk. “And Fatin is not Jeff. You have to remember that Leah, she’s not him. I think it was really sweet that you walked her home last week. That’s not obsessive or anything, just normal behavior when you like someone. Don’t read too much into it.”

They lie in silence for a bit, Rachel waiting for Leah to talk and Leah trying to sort through her thoughts.

“Fatin is not him.” Leah repeats Rachel’s words, trying to really take them in. She nods to herself.

Rachel nudges her. “Are you alright? Or should I get Nora? We both know she’s much better at this than me.”

“No, I’m alright for the time being I think.” She sends Rachel a small smile.

Rachel sits up happily. “Great! Now, tell me all about Fatin, girl!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to watch the cello performance I had in mind while writing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNVNsuh5B8g


	5. Chapter 5

They have a coffeemaker in their apartment. She usually makes her own coffee every day in the morning and then sometimes gets a coffee when she’s out. Nowadays her coffee budget has skyrocketed. Fatin has lost count on how often she’s been to Beans on 9th within the last days – or weeks really.

Her usual routine during the summer is to get as much time in the studio to do recordings for her school and some for the orchestra she works with outside of school. But she also works a lot on composing and making musical arrangements for future pieces she wants to play alone, with a duet partner, or with a bigger ensemble. She does most of this sheet work from home but she also goes to the school sometimes.

And if the coffee shop is more or less on her way to the school and she subsequently goes there a lot it’s only a coincidence.

And if Leah’s worked a lot during the last two weeks because Toni went home to visit Martha’s family for a bit and she has to cover more shifts that is totally a coincidence as well.

It feels weird. Since she has gotten Leah’s number from Shelby they have been texting a lot. Whenever they both aren’t working, they’re probably texting. And their texts are sometimes borderline flirty. But with girls Fatin is never sure when they’re just nice and when they mean to flirt with her. They’re so much harder to read than guys are.

And she doesn’t know how to take their relationship from texting and hanging out at Leah’s work to actually hanging out, just the two of them. She doesn’t want to make it weird by asking.

It’s unnerving to her that she doesn’t know what to do. And normally she would ask Dot. Who would probably find it entirely too amusing that Fatin who only does hook-ups with no feelings is suddenly so nervous about someone. But Dot had been so adamant about not sleeping with Leah that Fatin isn’t sure how she’d take Fatin’s weird little crush on the girl. She would probably blow it out of proportion.

But it really is only a tiny little crush.

Honestly, Fatin wouldn’t even call it a crush because she doesn’t do crushes and it sounds entirely too much like high-school. But she can admit to herself that she seeks out the coffee shop more than she did four weeks ago. And that she likes talking to Leah.

Fatin meets Nora who also hangs out at the shop more often than during the semester. They sometimes share the table close to the counter when both Rachel and Leah are working. They don’t talk all that much, both doing their thing. Nora reads a lot and Fatin usually works on an arrangement, but they both interrupt themselves whenever the shop is a bit quieter and the two baristas have a few minutes to chat with them.

Fatin has noticed over her time at the coffee shop just how close Leah and Rachel are. When they were all at Shelby’s party Fatin kept looking over to Leah but they were in a group setting then and Rachel and Leah didn’t seem to be much closer than they both are with Toni.

Fatin’s impression has changed a lot since then. She doesn’t really know what to think about Rachel and Leah’s closeness. It’s a bit unsettling to her.

“They seem very close.” She says to Nora one day with a head nod in the general direction of the counter.

Nora looks up from her book and nods thoughtful. “Yeah, they get each other on a level that I will never understand.”

They both look over to the two other girls, idly chatting amongst themselves while cleaning their workstation.

“Did you know, that I met Leah first and then introduced them? I’m glad I did.”

“Isn’t it weird to be constantly third-wheeling with them though?” Fatin asks carefully, hoping to get a bit more about the nature of their relationship out of Nora.

“I mean, no. I have my own relationship with Leah. We have our own things and we usually see each other every so often in school.” Nora answers slowly. “I’m just happy Rachel found someone else beside me that she trusts so much.”

To that Fatin can only nod. Because while she might not understand the bond of twins she does understand wanting only the best for your siblings, she feels the same about her brothers. Even if it’s from afar now.

She watches Rachel and Leah interacting for a while longer. Rachel seems to be making some comments or jokes to Leah, to which Leah laughs and proceeds to push Rachel by her shoulder. It seems playful and intimate to a certain extent? Fatin almost feels like intruding in their moment just by looking at them.

She leaves B9 soon after, during a particular stressful rush, without saying goodbye. Leah is working after all and wouldn’t notice if she’s there or gone anyway.

Turns out, Leah does notice and texts her about it a couple of hours later.

**Leah:** You left without saying goodbye

 **Leah:** Rude

 **Fatin:** You were working

 **Leah:** Still

 **Leah:** I barely got to talk to you today

 **Fatin:** I will grace you with my presence again in a couple of days dw

 **Leah:** Thank god.

Fatin grins and puts her phone away again, deeming the conversation to be over after that. She watches TV for a good five minutes before her phone buzzes again.

**Leah:** Hey, I was thinking. I’m cooking rn and if you’re not busy you could come over and eat with me? I have way too much for just one person.

 **Leah:** Totally cool if you don’t want to though! No pressure

Fatin sits up on her bed, staring at her phone. She watches another text coming in. And then rushes to answer before Leah goes down the spiral of overthinking she seems to be in any further.

**Leah:** Like I’m sure you have better things to do

 **Fatin:** Shut up, I’ll come over

 **Fatin:** Text me your address

 **Fatin:** Should I bring something?

 **Leah:** Just yourself

 **Leah:** I live at Carlyle Court, the dorm building at Union Sq, apartment 416

She arrives at Leah’s building a good half hour later. She had stopped herself from changing her clothes because she knew if she started it would take her way too long to decide on something. She already regrets not taking at least a sweater or jacket with her though because while it had been a particular hot day it is cooling down considerably the later it gets.

She won’t regret that decision anymore later that evening when she goes home wearing a sweater from Leah that she is sure she will never give back.

She doesn’t let Leah get one word in when she opens her door. “You said you lived around the corner! This isn’t around the corner, it took 20 fucking minutes to get here!” she pushes into the apartment.

Leah looks at her startled. “I’m sorry I made you walk that long! But you could’ve taken the subway.” She shrugs.

“Leah, that’s not what I mean!” Fatin rolls her eyes. “You let me believe you just had to go around the corner but you had to walk home 20 minutes that night of Shelby’s party? What the fuck?”

Recognition flashes through Leah’s face now.

“Oh right,” Leah blushes a little and looks down “I forgot about that. I guess I just liked hearing you talk about cello? I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Fatin feels herself melting at that. She smiles at the other girl before clearing her throat and looking around.

The apartment looks exactly like she would’ve imagined it if someone had asked her to. There is a little kitchen area and then just one big room, it is a dorm after all.

What makes it distinctly Leah is that there are books everywhere. Two large bookcases cover the wall opposite to the bed but a lot of books are just laying around the room as well. A bunch of artwork and pictures is scattered across the other walls, a small couch in one corner and a desk in front of one of the windows. There is a lot of stuff in the room, some people might describe it as a little cluttered but to Fatin it seems very cozy.

“So, what’s for dinner?” She turns to Leah who’s standing behind her, watching her take in the apartment.

“Um, I just made some chicken and vegetables with rice if that’s okay?”

“It better be, now that I made my way here.” Fatin winks. “Do you have wineglasses? I brought a bottle.”

“You brought wine? Fancy. I don’t have wineglasses though, just normal ones.”

At Fatin’s raised eyebrows she continues “What? Broke ass college student here, Miss Juilliard.”

Fatin busies herself with opening the bottle while Leah brings their food to the little table in front of the couch.

While they eat, they talk a little about Leah’s day at work that had been particularly hectic; lots of tourists in the city during the summer and not enough time to make all the cold beverages they seem to demand. Leah also complains about how much more taxing it is to be working in the heat compared to other times.

Leah washes the dishes right after dinner and Fatin offers to dry them. She starts wandering around the small apartment with the dishtowel and a plate in her hands, looking at the different pieces hanging on the walls. She finds a picture of Leah and Rachel standing on what looks like a porch. Both of them are laughing in the picture, actually bend over a bit from it, Rachel’s arm loosely thrown over Leah’s shoulders.

“This looks like a good time, where was that?” She calls to Leah who’s already putting away the dishes. Leah looks over to where Fatin is standing, trying to identify the picture Fatin is talking about.

“Do you mean the picture of Rachel and me, laughing on a porch?”

Fatin just nods, looking at Leah for the story.

“That was last summer, their parents have a summer house out in the Hamptons, and Rachel, Nora, and I went there for a weekend. We all needed the break. And then Nora took the picture one afternoon.”

Fatin watches in amazement how Leah’s face lights up when she talks about the time. She is not one step closer to knowing what the extent to Leah and Rachel’s relationship is but that picture and the weekend it was taken clearly mean a lot to her.

They sit back down on the couch.

“That sounds like a really good time.” She smiles softly at Leah.

“Honestly, it was. We needed some time away with friends. I never had close girl friends like that at home so that was nice. I think I realized that these two are my best friends on that trip.” Leah smiles, lost in the memory. She looks so pretty in that moment, recalling the memories, Fatin could scream.

“So, you’re not like in a relationship with Rachel?” Fatin just has to ask. It’ll eat her up if she doesn’t.

Leah chokes on her wine and laughs. “Gosh, no. Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know, you seem so close. Like _so_ close.” Fatin sheepishly shrugs.

“Yeah no, that would be weird. And wouldn’t work. She’s my best friend but that’s it.”

“Good.” The response slips out before Fatin can stop herself.

“Good?” Leah smirks at her with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Yeah.” She doesn’t elaborate but takes another sip from her wine.

They’re both silent for a second, lost in their own heads before Fatin decides to break the silence. “I never had a best friend until I met Dot either.”

Leah raises her glass a little and cheers “To our best friends.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little shorter but I had to cut it there instead of going into Fatin's pov for the next bit. It just felt more natural this way I guess? But yeah, the next chapter is almost finished as well because of that. I will hopefully be able to upload that tomorrow.

“One cold brew, please.”

“Quit it with the manners, Fatin. We know what you want.” Leah grins at the girl in front of the counter. Rachel lets Leah handle Fatin and her order and focusses on the next customer.

“To stay?”

“Sadly no, I’m actually kind of in a rush.” Fatin shrugs.

“Oh.” Leah tries hard not to frown too much. “Busy afternoon?” she asks while making Fatin’s drink and starting the next customer’s as well.

Fatin nods. “I’m going into the studio for a recording. So, I have to be on time today.”

“Well, I guess, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Leah says as she hands Fatin her drink and smiles slightly at her.

“Mhm… unless– until when do you work?”

“Uh, I’m closing the shop today. It usually takes me about half an hour to clean everything after I close down, so probably around 9.30ish. Why?”

“I could pick you up? And we can hang out then for a bit?” Leah is sure she imagines it but it looks like Fatin is blushing a little bit. She nods and opens her mouth to answer only to get interrupted.

“Leah, if you’re done picking up our customer how about you make the next drink?” Rachel calls from the cash-register. “The orders are piling up, you know?”

Leah feels herself turning pink and the certainty that her face is completely flushed makes it even worse.

Fatin only smiles and waves at her, seemingly unfazed by Rachel’s comment.

As soon as Fatin has left the shop, Leah turns to Rachel. “Rachel! Could you be any more obvious? What was that?”

“Girl, you could use the help. The two of you are painful to watch at times, like she comes here every day you work now. You two spend so much time together outside of here as well and you still haven’t made a move, I’d call it pathetic if it wasn’t cute at the same time. But we’ve got work to do. So, move it!”

Leah only grumbles. “Don’t call me pathetic.”

Fatin shows up at Beans on 9th for the second time that day at exactly 9.30 in the evening. Leah is just getting her things from the backroom when she hears a knock from the entrance. She looks around and checks that she hasn’t forgotten anything important in their closing routine, nods to herself in confirmation, and fishes the keys out of her bag.

She sees Fatin standing in front of the shop waiting for her with two ice-cream cones in her hands.

“You got ice-cream for us?” she asks over her shoulder, while locking the door.

“No, these are both for me.” Fatin winks. “You can choose between cookies & cream and strawberry. Didn’t know what you liked so I just got one fruity flavor and a classic.”

Leah takes the strawberry cone out of Fatin’s hands and smiles at the other girl gratefully.

“This is actually perfect, I could use a snack!”

They start to walk down 9th street, Fatin leading them straight forward and down to the East River, and then strolling through the dark East River Park.

Leah thinks it's the perfect way to end her long day at work. It's still pretty warm out, she has ice-cream, and can just walk around with Fatin aimlessly for a bit. She's sure she could do this for hours, swapping stories, learning each other's opinions on fundamental things, just listening to Fatin talk. 

She asks Fatin about her day and the recording. It had apparently gone great until someone interrupted it them and they had to redo some things. She can’t help but watch Fatin as she talks. She gets really animated when she’s passionate about what she’s talking about. And as much as she likes reading and writing – and editing as she’s more recently learned about herself – she has never had a passion and talent quite like this. Leah admires Fatin for she passion she has for her career.

It also doesn’t hurt that Fatin’s face lights up when she talks about a particularly hard passage that she finally managed to get right. Leah knew from the first moment she saw Fatin that the other girl was exceptionally beautiful but her face lighting up like that, radiating joy, takes it one step further.

They walk in silence for a bit, Fatin sensing that Leah is deep in thought.

Eventually Fatin does break the silence though.

“So, I will go back home to visit my family next week.”

“Oh. For how long?”

“For ten days. I don’t really want to but you know, duty as the perfect daughter and shit.” Fatin shrugs and Leah immediately sees that she tries very hard to come across as nonchalant.

“You’re not excited to see them?” She asks carefully. She doesn’t want to ask questions that might cut too deep but several offhanded statements have made her very curious about Fatin’s parents and her relationship with them over the last weeks.

“I’m very excited to see my brothers. Let’s get that out of the way, like so fucking excited! With my parents it’s different… and complicated. I always got along very well with my dad. Until he cheated on my mom and I exposed him to like everyone he knows.”

Leah gapes at her.

“I know, I know. Not my finest moment. I was 17 and hurt, okay? But they acted like I was the only bad person in that clusterfuck. And since then it’s been weird between us. My parents are still together and the whole house just feels so fucking tense when I’m there, you know? Like I was so close to him and everyone constantly told me how much we were alike. But I don’t want to be like that cheating piece of– “

“Okay, lets not go there.” Leah interrupts Fatin who she feels like was just getting started with a very long rant, insulting her dad.

“Why not? I was just getting in the mood.” Fatin looks at her challenging.

Leah just looks at her until the tension visibly leaves Fatin’s body.

“There you go. No need to get all tense before you’re even there. And you know what, when you’re there and get mad at him, just text me and I’ll text you a picture of a cat or something.”

“I fucking hate cats.” Fatin grumbles.

Leah laughs. “Okay, of dogs then.”

**Fatin:** Please send me that promised dog pic

 **Fatin:** I’ll have you know that I tried very hard to not say “doggy pic”

 **Leah:** Thanks a lot, I appreciate it

Leah scrambles to pull up the album she’s made the night before that just contains pictures of dogs to send to Fatin. She finds one of a dog with a bow and sends it Fatin’s way. If her calculations are correct, Fatin had gotten to her parents’ house about four hours ago. She doesn’t know if four hours without getting mad at her parents is long in Fatin’s eyes but she definitely needs to find more pictures if she wants them to last ten days.

They still text a lot while Fatin is away. The time-difference between the two coasts actually helps because Fatin often doesn’t get up until Leah is done or almost done with work anyway.

After the first few two days of just texting, Fatin calls Leah in the evening when Leah asks how her day had been. She explains that she’s just too tired and lazy to type out everything she did – take out her brothers to an amusement park – so she decided to just call Leah.

What started out of Fatin’s laziness quickly becomes their thing; for the next days Fatin calls Leah every evening and they talk about their days. Leah tells Fatin a few funny stories from work or whatever Toni or Rachel had done or said that day and helps Fatin to take her mind off her family.

It often gets very late for Leah on those calls. Fatin usually calls around 8 or 9 her time which means it’s already 11 pm or midnight for Leah. With the first call only lasting an hour it wasn’t bad, Leah never goes to bed earlier than 0.30 am anyway. But the calls get increasingly longer and one day – night – they get so lost in talking that they completely forget the time until Fatin shrieks.

“Leah!” She whisper yells, “It’s 11 here, that means it’s fucking 2 am for you.”

“And? I know.” She shrugs, before realizing that Fatin can’t see her. “I’ve started getting ready for bed before you call. So, whenever we’re done talking, I can go straight to sleep. In fact, I’m already lying in bed, it’s no big deal really.”

“In bed, huh?” Leah can hear Fatin’s smirk through her phone.

“Don’t even go there.” She rolls her eyes. “Or I’ll end this call right now.”

It’s an empty threat and they both know it. But Leah has to make it to keep her own illusion of will-power she has against Fatin alive.

On Fatin’s last day in California she forgoes the usual call and facetimes Leah instead. It’s also way earlier than their normal night-call but Fatin says she needs to pack at some point and that’s nicer with company. Leah gets propped up on the desk and watches as Fatin gathers her clothes.

“I can’t fucking wait to be back in NYC, baby!” Fatin yells out loud. And Leah knows the ‘baby’ was just thrown in there because it fit the sentence and rhymes with NYC but she can’t help her heartbeat picking up just a notch at the pet name. She would gladly have Fatin call her that.

All the time.

“Um, I was thinking. You get in kinda early, right?” Leah asks to interrupt her train of thoughts.

“Yeah, I think at like 4.15 pm or something like that.” Fatin’s voice sounds distant as she rummages through her room.

“Well, if you’re not too exhausted, you could come over? I could make the lasagna again that you liked so much.”

Leah watches Fatin sitting down the pile of clothes in her hands and walking over to the phone. She bends down when she’s close enough and looks at Leah with a smile.

“I would love to.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter discusses Jeff and Leah's history with him, just a little warning if that is triggering to anyone!

It’s a date!

It’s a date.

It’s a date?

Fatin sits in the cab back from the airport to her apartment and feels herself overthinking. And overthinking usually really isn’t her thing.

She’ pretty sure she wants to make a move today. Saying it like that sounds bad to her, like a rapey frat bro, but after the last ten days of not seeing each other but still constantly texting or talking, she feels like it’s time to talk to Leah and hopefully take the next step.

Fatin’s sure she and Leah are on the same page regarding their relationship and she’s done making excuses to herself and for herself. She doesn’t want to deny herself this anymore. She’s had weeks of talking herself down from feeling anything for Leah and she has clearly failed.

She doesn’t know how she will be in an actual relationship but she wants to try at least. So badly.

The last days of talking to Leah for hours every night about anything and nothing had felt so right to her and by now she’s mostly certain that someone wouldn’t do that if there weren’t feelings involved. She’s mostly certain that she isn’t alone in this.

Plus, her ability to make Leah blush also isn’t lost on her, that’s got to mean something. Right?

Fatin’s still deep in her head when she arrives at her apartment. Dot is waiting for her in their kitchen/living room area.

“Hey there, stranger!” Her best friend greets her excitedly and successfully snaps her out of it.

“Hello Dorothy! How are you, best friend dearest?”

Dot only rolls her eyes at her antics. “What’s gotten into you? No one is ever this cheery after a flight? But I’m good, not as good as you certainly, but you know.” She waves it off. “Mateo is coming over later, we can order pizza or something together if you’re interested?”

“And third-wheel with the two of you? Again? Pshhh, no.”

“What, you’ve got better plans? Already? You haven’t even been back for an hour yet.” Dot raises her eyebrows.

“In fact, I do.” Fatin tries hard, so hard, to keep up the joking front but with Dot she could try however much she wants, she will call her out every single time.

“Okay, spill. You’re all excited, smiling and shit.”

Fatin blushes. She actually blushes in Dots presence. The only thing to make this worse would be if she’d giggle on top of it. She would never hear the end of it.

“I think I’ve got a… date.”

“You _think_ you’ve got a date?” Dot leans back on the couch. “How do you not know if you’ve got a date?” A look passes on her face. “Oh no, this is some lesbian bullshit isn’t it? Like not knowing what it means but also not asking. Did you finally make your move on Leah?”

“First of all, I’m not– “

Dot interrupts her. “Yeah, I know, you’re not a lesbian. Details. Moving on, please!”

“Well, if you must know. Leah asked me over for dinner. She’s cooking. And I decided that tonight’s the night.”

“To fuck?”

“What, no! Dot, don’t be so fucking nasty. I’m gonna tell her about my feelings and shit.”

Dot stares at her and pokes her in the shoulder. “Who are you and what have you done to Fatin?”

Fatin blushes. Again.

“I just– I don’t want to mess it up with her. I really like her, Dot.”

“Oh god, I don’t know how to deal with you like this.” Dot looks just as horrified as she sounds. “You should take a shower before though, you stink.”

The walk to Leah’s apartment feels almost as familiar as the walk from the subway station to her own apartment by now. On the way, she tries to hype herself up for the evening. Like Dot had pointed out, she’s very excited but also nervous. Not only about the prospect of telling Leah, but also about making herself vulnerable, truly showing herself to Leah.

But she also hasn’t seen Leah in 10 days and that alone means her excitement is through the roof.

She wonders at what point Leah became such an important part of her life. She had found her attractive from the first moment she saw her but it didn’t go any deeper than that of course, they didn’t know each other at all yet. It probably hadn’t been just one moment. They had shared so many thoughts, opinions, and hopes with each other over the last few weeks that Fatin is sure it had been more gradually. And now Leah’s role in her life is already so big that she wonders how her life had been before, without her in it.

Leah opens the door and Fatin practically tackles her. She throws her arms around Leah and enjoys the feeling of Leah’s arms around her waist.

“I’ve missed you.” She whispers in Leah’s ear and squeezes her just a little bit tighter when she gets the “I’ve missed you, too.” that she was hoping for.

Leah had already set the table before Fatin got to the apartment. This all feels just a little more _official_ than all the times they’ve hung out before. Fatin hopes that it means that Leah wants this to be an actual date as well.

For some reason, they get on the topic of relationships after dinner. Fatin isn’t sure how it happened but maybe this is her gateway to open the conversation about whatever has been happening and what she wants to happen between them.

She is very open with Leah about the fact that she never had an actual relationship and feels that it can be seen as a flaw. That she sees it as a flaw herself. And by now, Leah knows all about her Dad and how his mistakes influenced her anyway. So, she doesn’t think any of it comes as a surprise to Leah. It does get to Leah somehow though.

“You think your track record with relationships is bad? Well, get ready for mine then.” Leah says with a somewhat bitter chuckle.

Fatin looks at her with furrowed eyebrows, not knowing what to make of the statement. “Are you sure you want to talk about it? Cause it’s clearly bringing your mood down and I don’t want that.” She tells her softly.

“No, it’s okay. I can talk about it, I’ve worked through it.” Leah raises her chin at her statement as if to square up to someone.

“My parents throwing me into therapy helped.”

Fatin doesn’t say anything, but rather waits for Leah to continue. She doesn’t want to rush her or pressure her into telling her something she isn’t ready to.

“I met this guy when I was 16, almost 17. He had written a book we had to read in school, because he was an alumnus of my high-school and he was doing a reading for us. I fell in love with him very hard and very quickly. Or rather with the idea of love that I had for myself. I had all these romantic ideas in my head, we kept our relationship a secret and it felt so romantic to have the relationship just to ourselves, you know?” She takes a deep breath. “It wasn’t romantic. He was an alumnus but not like a recent one, he was older than I so that’s why we had to keep it a secret.”

Fatin wants to reach out to Leah, give her any kind of comfort, but she doesn’t want to cross any boundaries she might have in this vulnerable state right now.

Leah stares ahead of them at her bed for a while and doesn’t continue her story.

“Leah…” Fatin whispers “How old was he?”

“34.”

“Shit.” The expletive leaves Fatin’s mouth faster than she can stop herself.

“That about sums it up. We were together for a couple of weeks, I mean we texted a lot before that but then had our ‘relationship’ for not even two months. But I had created this obsession for him. Or rather for the relationship. It took me over a year to get over him... It.”

“Oh Leah…” Fatin doesn’t know what to say. 34 and 17 doesn’t sit right with her at all but she doesn’t want to react too strongly about it, not if that might unsettle Leah.

“The story’s not over yet. I slept with him.” Leah says the last part so quietly Fatin almost can’t hear it.

“But that’s – “

“Statutory rape? Yeah. I told him I turned 18 when I turned 17. Which in hindsight was stupid but he had also picked me up at a high-school reading so he knew how young I was. And still went after me. And I went with it because he was nice and interested… I felt wanted. And like I said I thought it was all very romantic. He ended it when he found out that I was only 17 and used that as the reason. Some fucking nerve, right? As if it would’ve been better if I was 18. As if that would’ve made it any less wrong. It was in no way an equal relationship, you know. But it took me a lot of therapy to get to this belief… At first I was just heartbroken and devastated and didn’t see anything wrong with what he did. I put the blame on me for the longest time, for lying to him. And then on my friend who I believed sent him my birth certificate.”

“Shit, I want to kick his ass.” Fatin sighs.

“Yeah, well, you can join Rachel then.” Leah chuckles.

“Anyways, I got pretty depressed afterwards. My parents didn’t know what to do with me. I obviously didn’t tell them, they just knew that I went through a breakup. They didn’t take me seriously at first, they sat me down, tried to make me talk. But they had all these ideas in their heads what I could do to feel better. Like ‘just go out for a bit’ or ‘don’t sleep in so late’.” She imitates a voice that is probably supposed to be her mom.

“But I felt like they didn’t really try to listen to me. Like you know, when people listen to reply and not to understand. And that’s what happened there. They asked and listened to then give me pointers on how to behave instead of trying to actually understand me and what I was going through… Eventually they made me go to therapy which was the best idea they had in all of my 17 years until then. I think our relationship never really recovered from that.”

They both don’t say anything for a while. Leah seems to be deep in thought, still staring ahead of her. Fatin knows from how she told the story that Leah has worked through everything that’s happened to her with the guy but talking about it clearly made Leah at least remember all the hurt it has caused her.

“Can I hug you?” Fatin eventually breaks the silence. She doesn’t know what to say to Leah but she knows she could use a hug, so Leah probably does, too.

Leah looks over at her and nods with a soft smile.

It is a little awkward at first. They were sitting next to each other so it ends up being more of a side hug. Fatin is considerably shorter than Leah so she doesn’t even try to envelop the other girl but cuddles into her, arms around Leah’s waist, head resting in the crook of her neck. Leah stiffens a little at the contact for about a second but then wraps one of her arms around Fatin, while the other holds onto Fatin’s arm around her waist.

“Can you stay here tonight? I don’t feel like being alone now.” Leah whispers, uncertainty in her cracking voice very clear.

Two hours ago, Fatin would’ve been over the moon at the mere thought of staying over at Leah’s apartment for the night. At the prospect of sleeping in the same bed, maybe cuddling, finally getting to talk to Leah, hopefully waking up together… Now though with Leah all shaken up from bad memories, very vulnerable, Fatin can’t imagine doing anything else than trying to provide Leah as much comfort as she could.

Of course, it’s still very exciting and nerve-wracking to her. Since they hadn’t talked yet, she doesn’t know how to act, doesn’t want to do anything wrong or overstep. Fatin also never stays over at people’s houses, usually – before she met Leah, she hadn’t done anything like this in weeks – she sleeps with someone and then leaves right after.

So, sleeping over at Leah’s is a whole new level of intimacy for her that she’s happy she gets to share and experience with Leah.

Which means in Fatin’s mind there is only one answer.

“Of course.” She whispers and vigorously nods.


	8. Chapter 8

Fatin is still half asleep when she feels Leah slip out of her embrace the next morning. She tries to tighten her hold around Leah’s waist. And if she was any more awake she would probably be embarrassed by the whiny sounds that she’s making.

“Don’t go.” She mumbles to Leah, cracking her eyes open ever so slightly.

“Shh, go back to sleep. I have to work though.” Leah whispers and frees herself from Fatin’s grip.

Fatin falls back into a slight slumber to the sound of the running shower. Later, she isn’t sure if she dreamt Leah pecking her forehead or if it actually happened before the other girl leaves her apartment.

She wakes up a couple of hours later, a little disoriented at first. Then she remembers Leah getting up early in the morning – screw a 7 am shift – and sighs about her missed chance at a shared breakfast in bed. And at finally having that important conversation. She finds a note from Leah attached to her phone. Of course, Leah would leave her a handwritten note instead of texting.

_Fatin,_

_sorry I had to go to work. Come by and get your breakfast at B9 – on the house. I’m going out with the girls tonight, some club downtown. You wanna come with? Leah_

And then Leah had added a little x next to her name. Fatin swoons for about a second before catching herself. She puts the note in her wallet, wanting to keep it safe.

She gets ready quickly, realizing how hungry she is. She steals a denim button-down shirt from Leah’s closet and ties it at her waist to put her own spin on it as a crop top. She looks at her outfit in the mirror, nods to herself, and is on her way to Beans on 9th.

“Is that my shirt?” Leah looks at her somewhat accusingly when she gets there.

“Good morning to you, too. I slept well, thank you very much. How about you? Oh, you slept well, too? Great.” Fatin grins at Leah who just rolls her eyes at her.

“But since you asked, yes, this is your shirt. I’m sure you don’t mind, do you?”

“It looks better on you anyways.” Leah shrugs. And Fatin is once again grateful for her ability to seem unfazed on the outside even if she’s screaming on the inside. Instead of blushing or stuttering or something equally as embarrassing, she’s sure she would do if the behaved like she feels, she just winks at Leah in response.

Rachel coughs behind Leah, causing her to turn around.

“Right… I set something aside for you like I promised, let me get that from the back.”

Rachel looks Fatin up and down and her gaze makes her slightly uncomfortable. “So, you’re coming out with us tonight?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” She shrugs. “How could I say no to a party?”

“Or Leah.” Rachel mutters, rolling her eyes.

“Or Leah.” Fatin quietly admits, earning a slight smile and a nod of approval from Rachel.

Leah returns with a cold brew and a sandwich in her hands, setting all of it down on Fatin’s usual table.

“So, you are coming with us tonight?” She smiles brightly at Fatin.

“Of course, I am.” Fatin grins and does some body rolls. “I could always go dancing.”

She sees Leah’s eyes lingering on her upper body and congratulates herself on that move.

“Hey, um I wanted to talk to you about something. But since we’re going out tonight, maybe we can do that tomorrow?” She gets uncharacteristically nervous just asking to have the conversation.

“Sure! Is everything alright though?”

“Yes! Yes, of course it is.” She smiles at Leah, hoping she is somewhat reassuring and didn’t just push Leah into overthinking with her question.

Fatin puts her dishes away and gets ready to leave. She has a full day of unpacking and scheduling with the orchestra ahead and really needs to get started if she wants the evening off.

“I mean, you could stay over again and we could actually have breakfast together this time?” Leah sounds unsure at her suggestion.

“Yes, let’s do that!” Fatin happily agrees.

“It’s a date!” She throws over her shoulder, rushing out of the coffee shop.

When she’s outside she risks a glance through the window and sees Leah still standing in the same spot, looking at the door dumbfounded. She counts that as a success.

Fatin meets up at the club with Shelby, Toni, and Martha. She tried to convince Dot to come as well but she insisted that it really wasn’t something she wanted to do. Rachel and Leah are coming with Nora from the twins’ parents’ house and are currently running a little late. She doesn’t know how they were able to convince Nora to come with them but still waters run deep so she doesn’t question it.

Fatin texts Leah after they get their first round of drinks.

**Fatin** : We’ve been waiting for at least 15 minutes now. Hope you get here soon, can’t wait to hit the dancefloor with you!

 **Leah** : Just like 10 to 15 more minutes or so.

She spots a couple of friends from school and tells Shelby and Toni that she’s going dancing. After all, that is what she came for. Martha had also already run off, dancing with Marcus somewhere. Shelby and Toni promise to send Leah her way and decide to stay close to the bar for a little while longer.

Fatin finds her two friends from her composing class who she’s always got along great with. She likes having male friends with her when she goes dancing, they work as a buffer between her and unwanted attention from strangers. Romero and Patrick have done that for her multiple nights by now. She can dance more carelessly when they’re around, not having to deal with guys coming up and trying to dance with her.

After a couple of songs, she starts to wonder why no one has joined her on the dancefloor yet, so she tells the two guys that she’ll be back later and makes her way back to the bar where she had left her friends.

From afar she can already see Rachel and Nora talking with Shelby and Toni and starts to look around for the one person she actually wants to see.

“Hey guys, you finally made it! Where’s Leah?”

“Huh? You haven’t seen her?” Rachel asks with a puzzled look.

“We sent her your way when they arrived, but she came back after a couple of minutes and said she didn’t feel well and left to go home.” Shelby adds.

“That’s weird, I didn’t talk to her. I didn’t even see her. I was– “ Fatin interrupts herself. Her face probably displays the horror she feels as the others look at her questioningly.

“What? What were you doing?” Rachel asks her and even shoves her shoulder slightly. “Fatin, what the fuck did you do that makes you look like this?”

But Fatin doesn’t pay her any attention or reacts to her question. She turns to Shelby instead. “Shelb, I was dancing with Patrick. You know how we get.”

“Oh, honey. You think, she saw you?”

“Can someone explain what the fuck is going on?” Rachel intervenes, anger clear in her eyes.

“Um…” Fatin is at a loss for words and looks to Shelby for help.

“Okay. Well, Fatin has these two friends who have gone out dancing with us quite a few times, Toni has met them I think. And both like to dance just as much as we do so naturally we dance with them. And I guess the dancing could look like more than it actually is to someone who doesn’t know them. They’re both very… sensual people.” Shelby shrugs helplessly.

“Let me get this straight.” Rachel interrupts once again. She looks madder by the second, now with Toni by her side, nodding along. “While you were waiting for Leah who you know as good as me has feelings for you – don’t even deny it, you know this – so, while you were essentially waiting for her, you were letting some guy get all up in your business?” Rachel looks at her pointedly as Fatin tries to get a word in. “No. I’m not finished. Are you stupid or just heartless? That’s my best friend we’re talking about, you don’t get to treat her like that.”

“Can I talk now?” Rachel raises her arms in a mocking manner to Fatin’s question. “They’re both gay for fucks sake! And a couple! And I’m like in love with Leah. That was just friends dancing together. Nothing wrong with that.” Fatin is so enraged that she doesn’t even notice her affirmation of feelings.

“Well, you have a funny way of showing that. Of course, Leah would jump to the conclusion that you were about to fuck that guy. Shit, Fatin, you really fucked up.”

“Fuck, I know. No need to rub it in. You’re really making me feel better.” She looks at the ground, trying to think. The whole argument combined with the alcohol she already had made her dizzy, like everything is spinning out of control.

She feels Shelby soothingly rubbing her back which grounds her a little. “I’m going after her! She’s probably home by now, with how much time I’ve been wasting talking to you all.”

“Not happening.” Rachel challenges her.

“Rachel, do you want me to fix it or what? I have to explain and then she can decide what she wants to think. You know she’ll overthink this if I don’t explain it right now.”

“Yeah, you can do that tomorrow, you’ve done enough for now. Tonight I’m going over there with Nora and we’ll try to calm her down. If you talk to her right now she’ll lash out.”

“Great.” Fatin sarcastically answers. “I’m going home then. I’ll be over tomorrow morning. Nora, I’ll text you. Can you please let me in? Because we all know that she won’t let me in herself.”

It’s 7.30 am and Fatin has slept maybe two hours all in all when she leaves her apartment. Dot had tried her best to cheer her up when she got home but hadn’t really succeeded.

She texts Nora when she gets to the apartment building only realizing then that it might have been a good idea to text her earlier than when she’s already arrived.

And as luck will have it, Nora doesn’t answer. She sits on a bench, facing the building. If her situation would be any different, she might even consider this nice. It’s an early Saturday morning in the summer. It’s warm but not hot yet, there are not too many people outside, lots of people with dogs. It’s kind of calming, really.

After 20 minutes, Nora finally texts back that they’re awake and that she can come up.

She tentatively makes her way to the elevator. In her head, she’s trying to sort through her thoughts. Trying to come up with what to say. All night Fatin had formed words and sentences and speeches so say. It’s weird because she knows she technically didn’t do anything wrong, she danced with a friend and that’s it. But she hurt Leah in the process and while that was very much unintentional it still happened. She still needs to own up to that.

Fatin knocks softly at Leah’s door that immediately gets opened by Nora. She gives her a half smile and wishes her good luck.

Rachel of course isn’t as friendly. “Don’t fuck it up even further.”

With that both twins are out of the door and Fatin stands alone in Leah’s hallway.

“Are you going to come in or what?” She hears Leah from inside the actual room. She sounds more hostile than anything. Fatin doesn’t know what to make of that, she has seen Leah sad or even annoyed but never hostile. In her mind the girl wasn’t even capable of that emotion.

Leah sits on her bed and looks at her openly but with no smile in her eyes when she enters the room. Her eyes are a little red and she looks just as tired as Fatin feels.

Fatin stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, not knowing if she should sit down and where. She feels a bit out of place in an apartment where she’s felt at home from the moment she first entered it.

“Are you going to say anything? Because Rachel and Nora were very insistent that we should talk or whatever. And I guess all I would have to say is more or less out in the open anyway because you’ve all talked about it last night apparently. In the middle of a club.”

“Can you– can you tell me what you saw exactly?”

Leah looks at her with a blank expression. “Really? That’s the angle you want to take? That I made shit up or something? Not just last night but also all that happened between us?”

“Jeez, Leah, no. That’s not what I meant. At all.” Fatin takes a deep breath and decides to finally sit down on the edge of Leah’s bed, angling her body to face her. She looks down at her own hand, drawing patterns on the sheet. She knows she’s probably mirroring Leah who always needs her hands to be moving when she’s anxious about something.

“I was dancing with my friends Romero and Patrick. I’m guessing that’s what you saw, right?” She gets an affirmative nod in response which she decides to count as a win. “Well, I’ve known these two since freshmen year, Shelby and I have gone dancing with them a couple of times, they work as our buffer to unwanted attention from guys. They are a gay couple.”

Leah furrows her eyebrows.

“I often dance with them probably too closely, their hands on my hips, my back towards their front, like yesterday. It doesn’t mean anything other than that we enjoy dancing together.”

She sighs and looks up at Leah only to find Leah already looking at her with wide eyes.

“Leah, the only person I _wanted_ to dance with last night was you. I wanted to tell you about my feelings as soon as I got back two days ago but then we were having that conversation about Jeff and all and I didn’t want to spring my feelings on you on top of that. When you were already so vulnerable.”

Leah still doesn’t say anything which is kind of unnerving to Fatin so she decides to keep going.

“Some fucking track record I have, right?” She chuckles humorlessly and looks back to her hands. “I’ve hurt you before anything even happened between us. If I didn’t already believe I was shit at any form of relationship I for sure would now.”

“You’re awfully sure something would’ve happened between us.”

Fatin looks up so quickly that she should probably get whiplash. “What– what do you mean, I was so sur– “

Leah’s blank face morphs into a half-grin.

“Don’t do that to me. I thought I was imagining it all.” She smiles at Leah, glad that they’re back to smiling at each other at least.

“Look, I’m sorry for yesterday. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you feel like you made something up yesterday and especially not between us for the last weeks. Can I– can I maybe take you out? Like on a real date?” And for the first time in the two months of knowing each other, Fatin blushes in front of Leah. She ducks her head again, embarrassed. “I mean I get if yesterday like put you off or something, that’s totally cool, too.”

“Fatin… look at me.”

She does as Leah asks – of course – and finds Leah once again smiling at her.

“I would really like to go on a date with you.”

“Oh. OH! You do!” If she wasn’t so happy she would probably cringe at her outburst. And she does hours later when she’s replaying their conversation in her head over and over again. But in the moment, she’s just happy that she got the chance to explain to Leah what happened and that she finally got to talk about her feelings. Even though it’s been only two days since she set her mind to it, it felt way longer.

“Okay, great!” She gets up, getting ready to leave, feeling like she should let Leah get to her day. She also is in desperate need of sleep.

Leah surprises her with a hug in the doorway. Fatin melts into the hug. They both probably really need it, need to feel the other’s reassuring presence.

“Thanks for letting me explain.” Fatin whispers into Leah’s ear and feels her nod.

They part, but Leah’s arms stay on Fatin’s waist. She sees Leah’s eyes dropping to her lips not once, but twice. Leah leans in a bit but then stops just a few inches from Fatin’s face.

And Fatin can’t wait any longer. She cups Leah’s face with her hands, finally pulling her down into a kiss. A kiss so soft and uncertain that it only lasts for a couple of seconds before they briefly look at each other, seeking confirmation. And then Leah pulls Fatin back in, kissing her more deeply than before, but her lips still oh so gentle against Fatin’s.

When Fatin starts to smile into the kiss, she causes them to break from one another.

They stand in Leah’s hallway and grin stupidly at each other for what feels like hours until Fatin snaps out of it. “You’re off work on Wednesday, right?” She asks. “I’ll take you out on that date then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I had the whole club-scene in my head from the start. I just felt like they needed to get the heavy conversations out of the way beforehand. And that's why they couldn't kiss until now. Hope no one felt like I was dragging it along!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first date

**Dot:** You better appreciate the fuck out of this date, I have heard about nothing else for the past days

 **Leah:** I ‘m sure I will!

 **Dot:** Have fun though, for real! I’m glad you guys worked it out

 **Leah:** Thanks, Dot

 **Leah:** Me too

Leah is a bit nervous before her date with Fatin. But she’s also more excited than anything. She doesn’t know why Fatin has been fussing about the date, she’s sure that she would enjoy whatever plans Fatin comes up with. For all she cares they could just take a walk together and she would consider it a perfect first date with Fatin.

But she obviously gladly takes all the effort Fatin seems to be putting into this. She doesn’t want Fatin to feel like she still has something to make up for but she also thinks it says a lot about a person if they put a lot of thought into something and then see what they come up with.

At 3 pm sharp her doorbell rings to notify her of Fatin’s arrival downstairs.

When Leah asked her about why she insisted on picking her up Fatin had said, sounding almost offended: “Well, for one your apartment is right on the way from mine to where we are going, but I’ll have you know, I’m also a gentlewoman.”

Leah makes her way to the elevator. Inside she can’t help but look herself over in the mirror. Fatin hadn’t been very specific in what they were doing for their date so Leah had a hard time choosing what to wear. She knew it didn’t actually matter that much, they knew each other long enough by now. But she still wanted to look nice for Fatin and for herself. She wanted to feel comfortable while knowing she looked good. She went with a white blouse with small cacti on it, the first three buttons opened, which she tucked in her favorite denim shorts. She looks at herself once more, decides to put her hair up because of the heat, nods once, and steps out of the elevator.

She sees Fatin standing outside, her back towards the building. Leah feels herself involuntarily smiling at the sight of the other girl. She still can’t really fathom how and why Fatin wants to go on a date with her. But here she is, picking her up after asking her out and planning the date.

“You were right on time for once!” She greets Fatin who startles and turns around.

“I’m always on time for the important things.” Fatin winks and begins to walk only to stop after about a step and a half when Leah doesn’t follow. Because once again – it has happened so many times since she met Fatin, Leah has lost count – one of Fatin’s throwaway lines, sometimes more flirty, sometimes more suggestive, other times just a little too friendly, sends her brain into overdrive. Especially combined with that damn wink. Leah shakes herself out of it at Fatin’s questioning look and follows her.

Fatin stops them after only a little more than 10 minutes in front of a bookstore.

“What are we doing here?” Leah looks at her, confused.

“What do you mean? We’re having a date!”

“Here?”

“Yeah, do you have a problem with that?” Fatin asks mockingly at first. Then she seems to catch herself and continues with worry evident in her voice. “I mean seriously, is that weird? Or something you don’t want to do? I just thought you like books so much and I like hearing you talk about books. I also think books tell us a lot about a person and I do read as well. So, I came up with some prompts or whatever to find certain books and tell the other why we chose them. I don’t know, if you think that’s lame then we can totally skip that and just have coffee or something.”

Leah has never seen Fatin so uncertain about something. It’s actually endearing, even though Fatin would probably kill her if she hears Leah use that word to describe her.

“Fatin, that sounds perfect.” She softly says. She reaches for Fatin’s hand on impulse and they enter the store together.

The bookstore is one of Leah’s favorites and most frequently visited, Rizzoli. She loves the atmosphere it has with chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and large, old bookcases. Even though it’s pretty big it gives off a comfy vibe which she always appreciates in a bookstore.

Fatin leads them to the third floor which confuses her a bit as there are only movies, cards, and stationary up there to her knowledge. Apparently, the children’s books section is on the same floor because that’s exactly where Fatin is headed.

“Okay, so here’s how it’s going to work.” Fatin turns to her. “We go and find our favorite books from our childhood. We can go and find mine first because I obviously already know what mine is and then we can find yours. And when we have them, we can go sit over there on the couches and like talk about them and shit.” She shrugs, acting nonchalant.

Leah ducks her head a little and smiles. It’s so obvious to her how much thought Fatin had put into this date even with Fatin constantly downplaying what she came up with.

“Lead the way then.”

Fatin pulls her to the section with books for pre-k aged children.

“Wait by ‘children’s books’ did you mean like only pre-k or can mine be for older children?”

“Nah, doesn’t need to be pre-k. You are a child up until you become a teen. So, like until 12 or something. Or whenever you hit puberty.” Fatin answers, browsing the shelf for whatever books she’s trying to find.

Leah thinks about all the books she's read as a child. For sthe earlier ones it probably wasn’t really reading but more looking at pictures and having her parents read her the one sentence that came with the picture. But she started reading books on her own pretty young, soon doing nothing but reading in her free time.

Fatin pulls out “The very hungry caterpillar” with a quiet yell of triumph. “Found it!”

Leah laughs at her and searches for the books for younger elementary school kids. She imagines Roald Dahl should fill at least half a shelf. 

When they sit down on one of the couches in the reading area, Fatin lets herself fall down very close to her. Leah only raises an eyebrow and looks at Fatin. She is startled at all the body contact for a second but chooses to embrace it and leans a little into Fatin.

“What? We both need to be able to look at the book, right?” Fatin explains with a sly grin.

“Sure we do.” Leah shakes her head at Fatin’s antics. Even though she’s obviously enjoying them. She gestures to the book in Fatin’s hand. “Now explain your book to me.”

“Let’s read it first.”

Fatin opens the book and holds it in between them so they can both see the pictures. Fatin quietly reads the text to Leah, putting more and more emphasis on the sentences with every new “But he was still hungry.”

When they make it to what the caterpillar eats on Saturday, Leah tries to laugh as quietly as possible at Fatin’s commentary, not wanting to disturb any other customers.

“Jeez, he ate all that in one day? And what odd combinations: a pickle after ice-cream! They should’ve had him checked out for pregnancy after that!”

“Why was that your favorite book as a child?” Leah asks when Fatin finishes. 

“For one, I loved butterflies as a child. I mean of course I did, they were so colorful and had fun patterns. And I also loved to eat and related to him in that way. I thought he was in paradise, eating all day. And not even just fruit but he ended the week with junk food and candy! That was like my dream.”

“Oh my god… were you a cute chubby kid?” Leah asks with laughter in her voice, picturing a young and chubby Fatin running around, chasing butterflies.

“Well, I grew out of it, didn’t I?” Fatin sticks her tongue out at Leah. Fatin puts the book besides her, she then sits up a bit and puts her now free hand just above Leah’s knee. Leah glances at Fatin out of the corner of her eye, trying to not seem too fazed by the new form of body contact.

“Is this okay?” Fatin whispers.

Leah nods and turns to her book.

“Okay, so mine is Matilda. If you haven’t read it you probably have at least seen the movie? Or at least I hope you have otherwise I’ll have to rethink this.” She motions between them and laughs at the look of mock-horror on Fatin’s face.

“Obviously, I have seen the movie! If not for Danny DeVito at least for Miss Honey because she’s seriously hot.”

“Good. Then we can continue with our date.” She grins widely at Fatin who makes a show of breathing a sigh of relief and wiping invisible drops of sweat from her forehead.

“My Dad and I used to read Matilda together. I must’ve been in second grade I think and we took turns with the chapters. I liked it so much because I obviously saw myself in Matilda, always reading, eager to learn. But I also liked the idea of having some sort of power. I don’t think it necessarily needed to be telekinesis for me but I definitely tried if I could move things in my room as well.”

“That’s adorable, Leah. You were always a little book nerd.” Fatin grins and squeezes her thigh.

They look at some of the illustrations in the book for a while, pointing out small details they notice.

“I don’t remember there being so many pictures in this book. I’ll have to look at my copy to see if it has as many. Maybe my memory is just not the best from when I was 7 or 8 years old.”

“Oh, do you have it with you, here in your apartment in New York?” Fatin asks.

“Yeah, I do. I made sure to pick a few of my favorite books growing up and move them out with me when I came here.”

Fatin smiles. “That’s nice.” She looks as if she wants to say more so Leah lets her think for a bit, still thumbing through the book in her hands.

“I don’t have my copy of ‘The very hungry caterpillar’ anymore. I don’t even think it’s still in my parents’ house.” She furrows her brows. “They probably got rid of it when we moved a couple of years ago."

They put their books back and Fatin still seems to be thinking about something but Leah doesn’t want to pry.

“You know, my Dad used to read this and other books to me, too. Before my parents pushed me into cello lessons as soon as I turned five. Then no one read me bedtime stories anymore, it quickly became all about cello.”

“No wonder you resented playing for a while as a teen.” Leah comments.

“Yeah, right?” Fatin shakes her head. “Okay, enough of this emotional crap, on to the next!”

They go to the first floor. Fatin lets Leah choose between several sections, not telling her what the prompt would be for each section. Leah chooses the travel section.

“Okay, the question here is: where do you want to go if you could? And naturally this has an implied ‘why?’ in there as well.”

“Naturally.” Leah mocks as she follows Fatin to the Europe section. Fatin gets several travel guides for Italy and looks at them, deciding which one she wants to take. She opens them and looks at the table of contents, obviously searching for something in particular.

While Fatin is still deciding on her travel guide, Leah walks over to the shelf with the guides for Oceania and picks one about New Zealand. She isn’t as meticulous with her selection as Fatin is but rather takes one that has a folded map in the back and lots of pictures.

“So, why New Zealand?” Fatin prompts as soon as they sit down. She looks intently at Leah, waiting for her explanation. Leah takes the map out of the book and spreads it in front of them.

“There is no big reason there really. I just think the landscape in New Zealand looks beautiful. And I had this thought of getting a van down there, driving across the country in my head for quite a while now.” She shrugs and looks down on the travel guide. “I guess I always romanticized road trips a little in my head, you know? Doing that with someone who is important to you, lots of good music, food, new places to see every day. And like having no actual plan but just stopping wherever we want and see what we want. I think I always thought something like that would come with so much freedom and… ease?” Leah feels a little bashful after her reasoning for the travel guide she took. She looks at Fatin for some kind of affirmation and finds her already looking at her with so much softness in her eyes that Leah almost can’t handle it.

“That sounds awesome, Leah.”

Usually Leah would feel uncomfortable with as much eye contact as she and Fatin are sharing at the moment. Briefly, she wonders how weird it must look to other people, two young women sitting next to the bookcase with books on the Midwest, just staring at each other and probably smiling like idiots.

“Can I kiss you?” Fatin breathes.

Leah can only nod, words escaping her.

And then Fatin’s lips are on hers. Just like a couple of days ago, Leah marvels at the softness of Fatin’s lips, at the slight roughness of Fatin’s callused fingers on her cheek. The kiss is over much sooner than she would’ve liked, just a tad longer than a peck, but then again, they are in the middle of a bookstore.

“Tell me about your destination, please.” Leah requests.

“I want to go to Italy because that’s where the cello is from. I developed a slight obsession with the country as a child because of that but I would still like to go nowadays. Because while I now learned all the history at school, it would still be pretty dope to see it in person. Even if I don’t play as many classical pieces anymore as I used to, I think it’s interesting to see what’s behind all of it. And then I picked a guide that has the cities in it where the first solo pieces for cello were written.”

Fatin shows Leah the cities in the guide, pointing out various buildings and landscapes she thinks would be worth visiting.

“Also, you know, to come back to my theme from before, the food in Italy is obviously to die for. Like you know how much I love ice-cream!”

Leah can’t help but laugh at Fatin’s obvious excitement for a trip that is not happening yet. But one can day-dream. Fatin joins her laughter as soon as she hears Leah’s stomach growling at the mention of food.

“I originally thought we’d do three of these rounds but I guess you’re hungry. So should we rather get some food?”

Leah blushes and also can’t help but be disappointed in herself to cut the bookstore portion of the date short.

“Maybe we can do the other categories you had in mind some other day?” She asks, hopeful.

Fatin’s smile immediately brightens even further. “I’d like that.”

They’re almost out of the store when Leah has a thought.

“Wait outside for me? I have to use the bathroom really quick.”

She waits until Fatin is outside and quickly runs up to the third floor again, searching for a certain book. After purchasing it she writes the date and “The first of many” in the book before she joins Fatin outside.

Leah pulls “The very hungry caterpillar” out from behind her back and pushes it into Fatin’s hand before Fatin can even get two words in.

“What is this?”

“Your own copy of ‘The very hungry caterpillar’.” Leah scratches the back of her neck shyly. “I thought you might want a new one.”

“Oh, Leah… thank you, this is perfect.” Fatin smiles and steps closer and into Leah’s personal space. She puts her arms around Leah’s neck and pulls her down into another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it. Thanks everyone for reading, leaving kudos and lovely comments! :)


End file.
